Hey, friends!
First, thank you for subscribing and for hanging in there with me as I take my content into new directions.
I recently celebrated my birthday, so I decided to offer my subscribers a small gift for my birthday month!
Click on the button below between now and July 31 to get a 7 day free trial to all of my paid content!
You will have access to all of my archived posts, as well as my new content unfolding the saga of how strange satanic ritual abuse allegations play a role in our ongoing journey through mental illness and trauma.
It has been a huge step of faith for me to open up about this complicated part of our story, but after much prayer and consideration, I felt like it needed to be shared in order to get a full understanding and appreciation of our journey through mental illness, trauma, and most importantly, faith.
Here is a sneak preview from this paid post that gives some insight into the struggle:
My first question was, is it REALLY possible for someone to actually forget things that happened in their childhood, and then all of a sudden remember them, like, out of nowhere, years later?
Short answer: Yes, but…maybe not. Experts can’t seem to agree on this. There’s also something called False Memory Syndrome, that “typically occur” in a psychotherapy situation. Ok, but…Scott wasn’t in therapy. Who was around to plant these things in his head?
I started getting into the effects of trauma on mental health. Can trauma cause mental illness?
Yes. But there are other factors involved as well, including biology, genetics, and environment. I learned a great deal from a source called the Sidran Institute. They sounded pretty legit, and had a lot of information on how traumatic memory and recovered memory work from a scientific point of view.
I looked into secular psychology and psychiatry to understand what delusions were, and how they could manifest. I learned about PTSD, triggers, and dissociation. I even looked through the DSM-V manual. Scott showed many signs of dissociating, could get triggered by the slightest things, and definitely seemed troubled, even before the allegations. Certain reactions and behaviors were starting to make sense. Something was definitely going on here, either in his brain, in his childhood, or…maybe even both.
I wondered if our daughter being 2 years old triggered him. A 2 year old child triggered memories of one of his siblings. That couldn’t be a coincidence, could it?
For weeks, I went back and forth between “is this real? Is this mental illness?” If this was true, then my inlaws were not only satanists, but criminals. If this wasn’t true, then Scott was far sicker than either of us could have ever imagined. Did he say all of these terrible things because he was mentally ill? Or did the mental illness have its origins in this horrific trauma?
How much of these allegations, if any, are true? Either the mental illness caused these disturbing allegations to be brought up (psychosis? delusion?); or, these disturbing allegations just might be true! Which, based on some compelling circumstantial evidence, is a strong possibility.
Yikes.
The twists and turns have taken us to some unexpected places. The journey is far from over. Questions are still being asked, and surprising answers are still being revealed. However, God’s faithfulness through it all is the real story!
At the end of your free trial, consider becoming a paid subscriber so you can find out (along with me!) where this journey takes us!
Meanwhile, I am endeavoring to post at least twice a week, (both free and paid content) so be on the lookout in your inbox for more regular updates from me!
Blessings!!
Kimberly