52.
That isn’t just the number of cards in a deck.
That’s my age!!!
Wow, I can’t believe it. As another birthday passed this week, I went through some pictures from my 5th birthday that I found recently. Five years old. I remember 5…barely. Was it REALLY 47 years ago?
I started playing the violin when I was 10 years old. Was that REALLY 42 years ago??!!
In 2003, my daughter was squirming around in my womb. Was that REALLY 20 years ago??!!
This same time in 2007, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015…I didn’t even know where Scott was. Was 2015 REALLY eight years ago??!!
I guess it’s not until we get older…and inching ever so closely towards our mortality, that we see just how much of a vapor life really is.
Which brings me to the biggest thing that I can say living this long has taught me:
THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
That’s not cliche, it’s true. If we wait long enough, things will change. It’s inevitable.
A variation of that saying is this:
IT WON’T ALWAYS BE THIS WAY.
In a way, that can be comforting…but it can also be kind of scary. Because life can go in just about any direction, right? For good, for bad…we just don’t know.
But, the one thing we DO know, is that time will pass. And with that, will come change. Whether gradually or all at once, change WILL come.
Things that I thought were so important at 25, definitely don’t look the same at 52. When I was 25, I was single, childless, and traveling the world. My hair was a solid shade of dark black/brown, and I was several pounds lighter. At 52, I’ve been married 24 years, raised a child to adulthood, and my hair is no longer brownish black, but a solid shade of salt and pepper, as the salt is slowly but surely taking over. I never lost my post baby weight, and in fact added to it.
When I think of all of the life lived, just in those 27 years, it truly is amazing to see just how much life can change from one year to the next, one season to the next, one day to the next. And, not just MY life. The entire world has changed. When I was 25, the world didn’t know anything about 9/11, or COVID. Some people didn’t exist yet, and others who existed at the time, don’t anymore.
It’s wild to think about it, isn’t it?
The older I get, the more I learn to cherish the present. “Give us THIS DAY, our daily bread”. When the Israelites were given Manna from heaven, the manna from the previous day would rot. They were only allowed to collect what they needed for that day, and nothing extra except right before the Sabbath.
I’m sure there is a lesson in that, right? The past and the future are no good to us in the here and now.
The other sobering thing about time?
It eventually runs out for all of us.
One way or another, it WILL come to an end.
Even more reason to cherish the now!
I’m well aware of the fact that I don’t have as many years ahead of me now, as I did when I was 25. If I live long enough, in another 27 years, I will be 79 years old. No telling what will happen between now and then!
As much as I am learning to cherish the now, one thing is certain:
This too shall pass.
I’m not sure where I’m going with all of this. But, I wish I could have understood that earlier in life. Especially during times of crisis or hardship. Or even during the good times.
When Scott was gone and I didn’t know where he was.
When Jasmyne was a little pink bundle, or swimming in the pool like a fish when she was 8.
When I was buying Barbie dolls, complaining about opening those impossible packages they were wrapped in.
When I was changing diapers.
When I was young, and single, with no responsibilities or major concerns
I could go on. I would take more comfort in knowing that the trouble “don’t last always.” And, I would savor the mundane moments more.
The nice thing that comes with age, is that you realize just how precious these fleeting moments are, and they take on a different meaning.
So for today, my “daily bread” is to focus on the now. Age 25 is long gone, and I may not even make it to 79…or maybe I will and then some. It won’t always be like this. My daughter won’t be a college student forever. My loved ones won’t be around forever. *I* won’t be around forever.
These are precious days indeed.
Do Not Be Anxious
What is one thing you learn more and more, the older you get? I’d love to know!