The Roller Coaster Part 2: Relapse and Update
My tagline for this site and my podcast is “adventures of a family navigating mental illness and more”.
There seems to never be a dull moment in our family, for sure! We might be small with only the 3 of us, but life is most definitely an adventure.
I have had every intention to be consistent with releasing episodes of my podcast. My goal was to release one episode a week. And for a while, I was able to do that. I haven’t figured out how to record ahead of time or pre-record episodes and schedule them. I’ve been releasing them in real time.
But, I guess with the unpredictable and erratic nature of our lives, between my work schedule and our family needs, I’ll just have to release episodes whenever I can. Right now, the podcast is still in its infancy so perhaps that’s ok.
The roller coaster has become more bumpy as of late. All 3 of us are being treated for some form of mental health challenge. In order of severity, it would be Scott at the most severe, then Jasmyne, and then me. With me, my issues I think are more hormonal than organic, if that makes sense. I don’t think I have an “official” diagnosis, but I’m being treated with two medications for symptoms, and it has been wonderful. I feel SO much better. God’s timing is perfect, because since I’m being treated and it’s working, I’ve been much better able to cope with the other life challenges we’ve been experiencing.
With Jasmyne, things are a bit more challenging. She has an official diagnosis of ADHD, and some depression and anxiety. She’s an extrovert, and the pandemic has been especially hard on her. In 2019, she had an amazing year full of activities…3 shows, a dance camp, a choir tour, and hanging out with her friends. She thrives on that. But then 2020, and 2021, caused things to come to a full on stop. For someone like me, who is an introvert and is content to never leave the house, it’s not so bad. But for our social butterfly/drama queen, it has been soul crushing. She’s certainly not alone, as so many of her peers have gone through similar things. But, still challenging. We know the routine, though…get help, get treatment, and wait. Medication can cause side effects, and sometimes it’s hard to know the difference between a side effect and a real issue. Jasmyne is pretty sensitive to her body, and knows when something is wrong. She knew she had appendicitis before I did! The medications she’s on, we suspect, are causing side effects that have caused her some concern. So, we’ve been doing various tests and appointments to make sure. That, plus college visits and graduation preparations, and trying to get back into her social life, has taken up a lot of energy and time.
And then, there’s Scott. Six months ago, he expressed that he’s been having some unpleasant symptoms for quite some time. He thought he could handle it, so didn’t say anything, but got to a point to where he just couldn’t take anymore. He brought it up to his care provider. Ever since October 2021, we’ve been going back and forth to the behavioral health clinic, I would say no less than a dozen times. He spoke with a crisis therapist in person a couple of times, he’s called the crisis therapist hotline. He has been seeing his nurse practitioner, who has been tweaking medications right and left. Changing doses, changing prescriptions, changing the way the meds are administered…but Scott was still struggling. Last week, he reached a breaking point and requested to go to the ER. After waiting for hours to be seen, within 5 minutes he was assessed to be recommended for inpatient care. Which is exactly what he wanted. He got to a point of desperation where if something wasn’t done soon, it wouldn’t be good. Soooo, long story short, as of this post, he is in inpatient care for an undetermined amount of time right now. The facility is closed to visitors because of COVID, so we can only communicate by phone. But, he’s somewhere he can get help, and he’s safe. It’s never fun to have to be hospitalized for a mental health crisis, but compared to how things could’ve been, this has been about the smoothest process we’ve ever gone through. Part of the reason for that is that Scott has had enough insight to know that he needs help, and he’s been an active participant. His commitment is voluntary.
It's just, I don’t know…a bummer, I guess, because he has done all the right things. He has been in treatment. He has been open with his symptoms. He has allowed me into every appointment. I’ve advocated for him as best as I could. He’s been faithful to take his medications. He has done absolutely everything he could to stay healthy, and his care team have done everything they could to try to keep him out of the hospital. He tried so hard for so long to be strong, and surrendered. I’ve been in the situation where the committment was involuntary, when he was truly in a bad way, and didn’t know it. This isn’t like that…which has contributed to this whole process being super smooth. The insight he has had has been remarkable, which I attribute to the fact that he has been so intentional about his treatment. It really does make a difference. I’m very proud of him for doing what he needs to do to get well…that is a gem in a situation like this. I think this may be a good step towards some real relief, and will put him on an even more solid path to recovery.
And, I’ve learned a new word: relapse. Sometimes, you can be doing all the right things, and still experience setbacks. That’s pretty much the same with any kind of chronic illness, right? Brains are no different, I suppose. Even having good plans in place to prevent relapse, doesn’t mean they won’t happen. I think the main thing is, being prepared for not IF they happen, but WHEN. We didn’t have a formal plan in place this time around. Fortunately we didn’t need one, because Scott has been so proactive and cooperative, and he’s been able to make his own decisions. But, I can see now that it might not be a bad idea to sit down with him and come up with some kind of preset plan, for any time he might be incapacitated or unable to make decisions. We need some kind of directive.
Lesson learned. And, I guess we’ll continue learning them as we continue to navigate this roller coaster of mental illness and more!
(FYI, everything I share here about Scott is done with his permission. He even joked in the ER, “hey, you’ve got more material for your blog!” Thank you to him for being transparent!)