Happy almost December! Hard to believe the year is already almost over! Where did the time go??!!
Overall, 2023 has been a good year for the Simpkins Family. I don’t think any year goes by for anyone without some kind of challenge or issue. We’ve had our fair share of those, but at the same time, there have also been many wonderful things about this year that I will always cherish. Especially after so many tumultuous years of all kinds of drama and trials and challenges. This year has been one of the most peaceful years I’ve personally had in a long time. Sadly the same can’t be said for so much of the world, which I’m keenly aware of.
But I’d say that if there was one thing I am grateful for in this season, it would be the gift of deep inner peace.
One of the biggest things that happened this year, was my going public for the first time with the truth of what has been going on with Scott behind the scenes. With his permission, I revealed the true nature of his trauma for all the world to read about. It was probably one of the most liberating things I’ve ever done, and definitely one of the most honest things I’ve done since I’ve been blogging off and on for, goodness, almost 2 decades now.
For years, I’ve been driven by a desire to share our story. I’ve felt compelled to be honest not only about our struggles with mental illness in our marriage, but God’s faithfulness in the midst. I found that it was getting more and more difficult to talk around the ugly subject of SRA, and I was being less than honest by omitting it, so I felt the full release to just let it all out.
I did that over the summer, and I have no regrets. In fact, I thought it was the breakthrough that my writing needed to go forward. I thought, finally, I can move forward with sharing our story, holding nothing back, and let’s see how God uses it!
And then came school starting up, and me with my subbing and gigging, and loving on a new puppy, and honestly, just living life, figuring out this empty nester thing, and enjoying my husband and my mother, and my job.
Bottom line is this:
No matter how hard I try, how honest I am, how much I desire to share our story and the faithfulness of God, I’ve recently had to come to the conclusion that I just can’t keep up with all that it takes to post regularly, to write regularly, etc., in the midst of all of the other things I’m doing. I can’t keep up with social media, or “building an audience” or “platform” or whatever it is they call it these days. I don’t have the stamina or the time to “build a brand”.
As you can probably guess, the story we’ve lived, and are still walking out, takes a great deal of emotional, spiritual, and psychological energy. It’s enough to do to live it each day. To write about it also, is more than I can do right now. In short, it just isn’t the season.
Here is a snapshot of what’s going on in our world:
*I just got back from Sacramento, CA for a week to perform with a national festival. I had a blast! It was my 5th engagement with this festival, but my first time traveling by air in a long time, as well as the furthest away from Scott I’ve been since he was gone. He and my mom (and the dog) kept each other company while Jasmyne was safely tucked away at school…so I just had fun!
*That hallowed time of year known as “Gigmas” to us working musicians, is on the horizon. This year my calendar is full of various Christmas gigs, and even a New Year’s gig in there!
*I’m in the midst of another long term sub assignment…our county has a shortage of qualified orchestra teachers, and while I by no means want to take on that monumental task on a full-time, contracted basis, I have no problem filling in until they can find someone. Thankfully my position at the moment is part time, but while the kids I’m teaching are decent kids overall, they haven’t had a real teacher all semester, so morale and motivation is low, which makes this assignment a challenge.
*I’m still getting used to being a dog mom! This little dog is a delight…but man, he is 7.2 lbs of energy and a lot of work! Goodness…he has to go out several times a day, he has to be fed, he has to go to the vet and the groomer. He wants his belly rubbed all the time, he sneaks and steals any kind of paper and likes to chew on it and gets into stuff if you leave him to roam around too long…like, you have to actually take care of this little creature, lol! I’m just kidding, I love him, and I love having him!!!! He’s so cute and sweet and I love him!! No wonder dogs are good therapy!!
All is well and life is good. Every day is a step closer to healing and wholeness. We have taken steps recently to pursue that healing in earnest and it looks promising. Perhaps on the other side of that, I’ll be ready to continue sharing our story. Not sure when that will be, but if you’ve subscribed to my emails, you’ll be notified! (Paid subscriptions are also paused as of today!)
Until then, the adventure continues…
I’ve been missing you since your last blog. Now that you are taking some much deserved time off I will miss you Scott and Jasmyne even more. However I completely understand you have plenty of stress in your life without writing your blog. I’m so happy you got to go and perform with your friends in Sacramento. Your pictures are beautiful! I lived in Sacramento for almost 20 years and I have some very fond memories of that time, but I hear it has changed a lot since then. God bless you and your family. Sending love to you from our little casa in Mexico. (I can’t believe we’ve been here for 18 years already). 😊❤️👍🤣☕️❤️